


Duramen

by ahestele



Series: Duramen [1]
Category: God's Own Country (2017), God's Own Country (2017) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Edwardian, Bookshop Owner Josh O'Connor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29011179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahestele/pseuds/ahestele
Summary: “WANTED- Man to build case for the storage of rare and precious manuscripts. Wages commensurate with experience; lodging and tools provided..." said the advertisement. Alec was looking for work.  He found more than he had planned.ORAn Edwardian Era Bookshop AU. Alec is a Romanian joiner looking for work. Josh is a young landed gentry bookshop owner. Patsy Ferran is his awesome cousin. And *scene*!
Relationships: Josh O'Connor/Alec Secareanu
Series: Duramen [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128266
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing; Josh O'Connor/Alec Secareanu  
> Fandom: God's Own Country (2017) RPF  
> Rating: Barely PG-13 for now; NC-17 eventually.  
> I have done research on Romanian and British terms and the Edwardian era, but have no beta in my little RPF fandom of one :-) Apologies for any terms or references used incorrectly  
> Yes, I am taking artistic license with timelines.  
> Disclaimer: This is completely and categorically a work of fiction.  
> Dedication: For Nico, who is still saying 'Write it! I'll read it!' after all this time, and means it. For tumlbr users addictedtogaymovies and skm-skm, who keep offering support and conversation and love these men as much as I

Alec stood in the light drizzle of the London morning holding the advertisement in one hand and trying not to get more mud on his boots. He’d worn his best coat which was not the latest fashion but was clean and pressed, his good linen shirt, and he’d tried to tame his curls but practice told him he would not win that battle. His savings, which he carried to keep safe from the prying hands at his boardinghouse, had shrunk since he arrived here from his country and for breakfast he’d had a cup of strong coffee and a brittle biscuit. The belief that looking respectable, speaking passable English, and putting any pride and vanity aside would open doors for him had been, he now saw, somewhat naive. All he could hope was that his experience spoke for him and that the proprietor of the ad could see he would work hard and honestly. He’d been on five inquiries in three days and none of them had borne employment. 

However, this morning, this advertisement seemed to speak directly to him. “WANTED- Man to build case for the storage of rare and precious manuscripts. Wages commensurate with experience; lodging and tools provided until work completed. Apply at O’Connor’s Fine Books, and Manuscripts this Thursday hence, 9 o’clock of the morning. 89 Marylebone High Street”. 

Around him the bustle of the morning had already begun and horses clattered by bearing their well-to-do owners or the owner’s servants. It would be a gray day, like so many here, and Alec took slow, deep breaths, willing his nerves to settle, and let the sharp air steady him. It would be fine. He could be as polite and well spoken as any fine gentleman. His mama might not have approved of him in the end but she taught him well. He just needed enough to find a better living situation, away from crowded, cold rooms full of unwashed men, hostile stares that sometimes crossed over onto trips or shoves, and a shared privy that had never been cleaned as far as Alec could tell. There was also the grim matron that overcharged them all for these benefits. Alec had already had his grandfather’s watch and a coin from his childhood stolen. No one had to tell him that there would be no recourse. 

He was early, but he could use the time to take the feel of the business, see what it was about. Better early than late, always. Smoothing his shirt and running a hand over his hair, the damp spring of his curls not taking heed of his attempts at all, he crossed the cobblestone road and pushed open the glass door. 

Once inside, he was greeted with such a complete and peaceful stillness he paused for a moment. It’s as if the door managed to mute all street noise, voices, any sounds. The air wafted with the rich wax of polished dark wooden shelves and the distinct scent of books, old and new, well loved and just purchased. Alec knew the scent well from his mama’s library. He’d spent many days reading fairy tales when the weather was cold or wet, when he’d been ill, or when he and his mama read together, before adulthood and his choices, or imagined choices, took her so far from him. It was not a small space, but it felt so just from the floor to ceiling shelves packed with books, the large wooden desk laden with more, and the overstuffed velvet chairs, small tables and lamps placed on every available corner. A stairwell promised even more inventory. Alec walked forward, careful not to knock over any of the unstable piles that seemed to line the narrow walkway between the long table and a tall shelf of thick, impressive books. Possibly artistic reproductions, if Alec had to guess. 

“Hello!” Alec jumped at the cheerful greeting that pierced the quiet, and a pile at his elbow toppled over. He quickly grasped as many books as he could and a laughing small girl caught the rest so only one found it’s way to the floor. 

“Woop! It’s a wonder that doesn’t happen more often, isn’t it?” 

Eyes downcast in apology, Alec fetched the copy that fell and piled it, and the tower, back in their place. “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, they’re fine. You the joiner?” She asked, smiling. What he’d thought of as youth was actually just a tiny stature because more age showed in her dark eyes than her slightness suggested. She studied him with frank curiosity, elfin face friendly, her hair caught up in a loose chignon already losing strands around her face. She wore a blue dress that spoke of comfort more than finery, though the material and cut of cloth were of very good quality. 

“Uh. Yes. I am a bit early.” 

“He’s half an hour early.” A voice sounded from within the stacks and the girl rolled her eyes theatrically. 

“Yesterday the one came in fifteen minutes late and you told him to get out of your sight! There’s no pleasing him, is there?” she shook her head at Alec and he found himself returning her smile before he caught the eye of a tall young man that stepped out from between the shelves and composed his features more neutrally. 

The young man, more a boy, really, for all his height and the pair of spectacles perched on his proud nose, surveyed Alec with critical eyes. He seemed to be made up of contrasts at first glance: large ears, long fingered, enormous hands and big feet, yet a boyish face and messy dark hair. He had tried to seem older and wiser with his careful sideburns and dark, severe clothing, almost clergy -like; however, his face looked young and unlined, but closed off. The boy shut the book in his hands with a snap and pushed up his spectacles, fingers pale and graceful. Most people would seem clumsy with such hands, but not him. 

“Oh, come on, Josh. It’s not as if you have any conflicting appointments or anything! Oh, I’m Patsy, by the way.” She stuck a hand, a gentleman’s greeting instead of lady’s. 

“Alec,” he returned, keeping up with her quick jumps between subjects, and shook the slip of a hand offered to him. She had an impressively firm grip. 

“Lady Braithwaite is expected this morning.” Josh said, flipping through a sort of ledger on the cluttered table. 

“Lady Braithwaite is wanting her latest book of poetry and religious readings, as always. I can handle her.” 

“Patsy, may I have a word?” 

Alec averted his eyes at the frosty tone but Patsy just patted Alec’s arm and winked before strolling over. Josh hooked her elbow and pulled her behind a tall shelf, glaring down at her the whole time. Loud whispers drifted over and Alec’s stomach began to twist with worry. Before his spirits completely sank, he felt a soft pressure on his leg and looked down. A luxuriously long-haired white and gray cat wearing an ornate collar rubbed at his pants and arched into his hands when he bent to greet her. “Psh, psh, psh.” He whispered. The cat blinked eyes that were actually two different colors at him, and yawned before pushing its head into his palm imperiously. “ _Drăguță pisicuță,” _The cat purred and cuddled to him agreeing that, yes, she was indeed a _drăguță pisicuță _, Kneeling, he smiled as he scratched at a soft head and behind velvet ears, trying not to listen to the fragments of conversation in the air.____

____“….undermining my authority! He could be….unqualified!”_ _ _ _

____“Ridiculous! At least talk to him...seen four already….”_ _ _ _

____Alec wondered if perhaps just leaving would be best, but his limited prospects kept him present. He had funds for another night; perhaps two if he did away with tea. These were not kind times for a foreign stranger caught out alone at night._ _ _ _

____“Fine!”_ _ _ _

____They emerged finally and Alec rose, bracing himself._ _ _ _

____“My goodness, you are strapping lad! Did you grow while we were back there?” Patsy looked up at him, eyebrows raised._ _ _ _

____“...No.” Alec answered at length and she laughed, a loose, free sound he immediately liked. The cat chose then to jump nimbly on the table and rub against Alec’s arm, purring._ _ _ _

____“Well, someone’s in love!” Both of them looked at her and Alec watched in some interest as the boy’s ears flushed pink. “I was referring to Cosette, of course.”_ _ _ _

____The door to the shop opened allowing in a well-turned out older woman in a broad brimmed formal hat heavy with feathers and flowers and long gloves to her elbows. “Lady Braithwaite! I have all your favorites!”_ _ _ _

____“Marvelous, Patsy! Good day, Josh.” The lady did not address Alec and he lowered his gaze politely. He'd become accustomed to being invisible in this city. The problems occurred when you were not._ _ _ _

____“Lady Braithwaite. Good day,” Josh adjusted his spectacles, a move Alec already recognized as a form of defense. Patsy led Lady Braithwaite away to a corner of the shop, chatting and laughing between them._ _ _ _

____Josh turned to Alec, face somewhat pinched, probably from Patsy’s teasing. “Alright. The materials are this way.” Alec nodded and followed him down the narrow aisle keeping his arms tight to himself. Cosette hopped down and followed them, as well, tail twitching as she walked._ _ _ _

____At the end of the aisle, and the shop really was bigger than he at first thought, Josh led Alec to a back room where wooden crates sat on a table against one wall. On the other side lay many large pieces of wood and panes of glass. A pile of tools, all new, it seemed, lay piled in a corner._ _ _ _

____“I need a cabinet, more of a vault, for expensive, fine manuscripts that are here.” Josh lay a hand on the wooden crate in a way almost reverential. “They’re large and valuable, so it MUST be made specifically to order or the material will be damaged.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, you must keep out damp and insects.” Alec agreed kneeling to run a hand over the smooth surface of the wood. “Humidity will warp the paper and crack most bindings. Mold cannot be undone.”_ _ _ _

____“Uhm. Yes. Exactly. “ Puzzlement then surprise fought for dominance on Josh’s face and Alec turned his attention to the thick panes of glass. He wondered if they had been cut to size already._ _ _ _

____“I studied in Romania. It is my uncle's business.”_ _ _ _

____“Romania. That's....very far.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes.” Alec agreed shortly, going back to smoothing the wood. It was truly fine dark mahogany and would make a handsome vault for precious documents and manuscripts._ _ _ _

____“I'll need your references.” Alec stopped his touching and glanced up at Josh. Josh stood with clasped hands then adjusted his glasses. He resembled a judgmental lamp post with his dark clothes, pale skin, and rigid demeanor._ _ _ _

____“References were not mentioned in the advertisement.” Any references he might have would be from his village in Bucharest and, considering his departure, he doubted any of them would be positive, despite the efficiency of his skills._ _ _ _

____“Well, who doesn't have references?” Josh asked , voice exasperated. “These are the finest materials and very important work. Surely you don't expect me to let you loose on them without so much as a word of assurance?”_ _ _ _

____Alec rose, fighting the desperate panic in his chest. “I have no references. I can do the work and I work quickly and well. “ It was on his lips to propose that Josh not pay him if he found the work lacking, but Alec simply could not do that and survive. He would starve in another day, and he'd seen what such declarations brought by the stories at the rooming house, of proprietors that refused to pay after a hard day's work, or claimed some mistake or shortcoming when a job was completed, leaving the workers with no money and out of energy and time._ _ _ _

____“I'm just supposed to trust that you're telling the truth, is that it?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes. You are.” Alec met the annoyed glare calmly and steadily. “I do not lie.”_ _ _ _

____“Everyone lies.” Josh scoffed, looking away. Alec wondered how someone so young, with all the advantages life offered him, this business, and Patsy's friendship, could develop such cynicism._ _ _ _

____“Not I.” Alec insisted softly._ _ _ _

____Josh's lips pursed as they took each other's measure._ _ _ _

____He would not beg. He knew his worth. Braving a conflict until it resolved had gotten him far. He' d realized that while most in this city would sneer and insult him because of his accent, the color of his skin, and his otherness, if he managed to maintain as much dignity as possible, sometimes, in spite of themselves, people followed suit. It did not always work, but , regardless, it was usually the only option._ _ _ _

____Josh's stare wavered before he gave another scoff, “I supposed that will have to do, then.”_ _ _ _

____The relief felt so huge it made him lightheaded for a moment. Nodding, he casually placed a hand on the table to steady himself. Perhaps he should have opted for a more significant breakfast, after all._ _ _ _

____“Right, then. Your lodgings are up here.” Josh stalked out of the room without a backward glance and Alec shut his eyes , letting out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding._ _ _ _

____“I don't have all day, you know.” Josh's cross voice carried back and Alec followed, adjusting his jacket and breathing easier. That hurdle had been overcome. The rest he could sort._ _ _ _

____(*(*(*(*(*_ _ _ _

____Alec ascended the stairs to what were, indeed, more shelves of books, much larger tomes up here, and also two shelves of what looked like dilapidated novels. This area didn't seem like it saw as much use as the downstairs if the fine layer of dust was any indication. A small window let in weak sunshine and Cosette jumped on a brocade pillow on the sill and surveyed the world outside._ _ _ _

____“It's back here.” Josh called. When Alec walked over he found himself in a small room where most of one wall was taken up by a window that looked out onto the side of a dirty brick building. A narrow bed with a pillow and folded linen took up the wall next to it, a basin and ceramic pitcher on a wooden stand another, a mirror mounted on the wall above it. Below the window a sat a heater and taking up most of the space on the wall across from the bed was a sort of makeshift table and pantry. What really crowded the room was the tub wedged onto nearly half the space, behind a thin curtain looped up to the ceiling. It was the most glamorous sight Alec had ever seen._ _ _ _

____“It isn't much. It's only for the duration of the work. You'll have to go across the hall to the privy but the water does heat for the tub, I made sure of that.”_ _ _ _

____Alec could scarcely believe such luxury. In Bucharest they still drew water from the family well and in his rooming house fifteen men shared one privy and an old copper tub rarely used because one had to cart cold water from downstairs . Alec used a flannel to clean himself every night in the bathroom. And electricity? Only the finest hotels in Romania could boast such progress._ _ _ _

____“I know it's basic.” Josh continued, taking Alec's silence for disapproval, but Alec turned to Josh with a smile._ _ _ _

____“It is more than adequate. I hope it's acceptable that I move my things today? I don't have much. ”_ _ _ _

____“Of course.” Josh nodded, studying Alec face thoughtfully. His proud attitude seemed to have thawed a bit, for whatever reason._ _ _ _

____“Thank you. I can start this afternoon, or tomorrow, if that is better.”_ _ _ _

____“Tomorrow's soon enough.” Josh agreed, “But we start early here, so no lounging about”_ _ _ _

____“I understand.”_ _ _ _

____Josh headed out of the room then paused, turning. “What's your surname?”_ _ _ _

____“Secareanu.” Alec answered._ _ _ _

____Josh's whole face was doubtful, “Right. I'll go with 'Alec' if that's agreeable.”_ _ _ _

____He could have called Alec any manner of things at this point, in all honestly. “Yes.”_ _ _ _

____They descended the stairs in silence that lasted until Patsy poked her head from behind a shelf. “Are you hired?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, he's hired.” Josh answered before Alec could formulate a response. “He had no references but we'll....”_ _ _ _

____“Wonderful!” Patsy rushed over, arms thrown up in excitement and startled Alec by flinging them around him in a quick embrace_ _ _ _

____“Patsy!” Josh exclaimed, looking scandalized, “You can't just- HUG- a man you don't know!”_ _ _ _

____“Don't be a git, Josh, of course I know him! We met earlier, you were there.” She explained as if to a slow child and Alec had to press his lips together at Josh's indignation, the large ears pink once more. Alec had just been hired. Laughing at his employer couldn't be a good idea._ _ _ _

____“You'll have to excuse my cousin.” The frosty rigidity had returned but Alec knew now that it could melt, a little. “She was raised by my uncle and had no reliable role models to learn from.”_ _ _ _

____“Our uncle was the BEST role model.” Patsy replied airily, “And Mar sent you to all those fancy schools but that doesn't make you less unpleasant, does it?” Josh's features flushed and Alec cleared his throat._ _ _ _

____“I will return shortly from my rooming house.”_ _ _ _

____“Brilliant!” Patsy beamed, “That'll be right on time for tea.”_ _ _ _

____Alec looked at Josh, apprehensive. “No, thank you. The advertisement did not...”_ _ _ _

____“Well of course you'll be having tea! You'll live here, after all. Isn't that so, Josh?” Patsy turned to her Josh who looked at a loss._ _ _ _

____“You are very kind but it would not be proper.” Alec tried again but Patsy waved his words away with a flourish._ _ _ _

____“Rubbish! I won't hear any more about it. We'll see you soon!” Alec glanced again at Josh who gave a small shrug, features resigned, and took his leave quickly._ _ _ _

____*!*!*!*!*!*!_ _ _ _

____All the while Alec returned to the dark, dingy rooming house, gathered his meager belongings miraculously all still there, and settled up with the matron who grudgingly agreed he owed her nothing for the day since it was barely noon and he'd been out all morning, Alec didn't altogether believe he would be having tea with his employer and his very headstrong cousin. Surely, during his absence Josh would have spoken to her and explained how some things just were not possible in the society of this city. Alec had not been in London long but he was not slow._ _ _ _

____On the way back he stopped to buy a meat pasty from a shop along the way, for his dinner, telling himself and the sad state of his wallet that things would soon be better. He knew what joiners earned and while he did not expect the same, as a foreigner with no references, Alec knew even half would be a large sum. It was also common to have a weekly meal stipend, which Alec planned to save much of, as well._ _ _ _

____It took him a couple of hours to walk back to the bookshop as the rooming house was not close._ _ _ _

____When he entered he heard Patsy call out, “Alec , are you back?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes?” He answered._ _ _ _

____“Are you certain?” Josh's voice inquired, sounding bored, “That sounded like a question.” The sound of a muffled whap followed. “Ow! I beg your pardon!”_ _ _ _

____“Be nice!”_ _ _ _

____“I AM nice!”_ _ _ _

____“We're in the back!” Patsy continued, “Turn the sign on the door and join us!” Feeling decidedly surreal Alec changed the hanging sign on the door from 'OPEN' to “CLOSED” and followed their voices._ _ _ _

____He found them in yet another surprising room off to the side of the bookstore, a limited but stylish area, walls with cheerful yellow stripes, plants everywhere , and light bathing everything through a glass window on the ceiling. Patsy and Josh sat at a small, doily covered table, plates of sandwiches and tea set around them. Cosette had her own place of honor, perched upon a velvet pillow and nibbling on what looked like fish in a crystal bowl. An empty chair had been set between Patsy and Josh and Alec placed his valise against the wall, suddenly aware of the strangeness of his presence in this well-appointed scene; his simple coat, muddy boots, and unshaven face among all this refinement._ _ _ _

____“Did it go alright, then?” Patsy asked, motioning for him to sit. Alec did, sliding the chair closer to the table, minding his knees didn't jostle everything over. Josh sat easily in his chair, height distributed with no effort, one hand stroking Cosette as she cleaned her face, paws delicately smoothing and licking in turns._ _ _ _

____“Yes, thank you.” Alec watched her pour tea for him, the cup beautifully decorated with swirls of flowers and filigree gold. She placed two scones on his plate and offered up the small tray of sandwiches. Alec took two of the rectangular offerings with his fingers; he'd at least seen that done and knew it would be acceptable. The coffee and biscuit had been many hours ago and his stomach signaled its hunger with a mute growl at the sight and smell of the food._ _ _ _

____Patsy stopped chattering and Josh glanced over at the sound. Alec looked at his lap, embarrassed._ _ _ _

____“Goodness, did you not have any breakfast?”_ _ _ _

____“Not much. I...was nervous.” Alec said, fiddling with the heavy napkins on the table._ _ _ _

____“Well, no need now, is there?” Patsy smiled. The tendons in Alec's shoulders eased at the warmth in her eyes and he felt, at last, he could partake of the tea without reservation. Patsy needed no prompting to talk about any and all things with a constant stream that seemed to quickly jump subjects and back again. Josh contributed with mostly dry comments, usually impassive. It didn't deter Patsy in the least and Alec noticed she made a point of including him in the conversation, asking curiously about living in the rooming house._ _ _ _

____“Probably abysmal.” Josh commented at that, still scratching Cosette's head. She'd curled up to nap on her velvet pillow. “I've heard the accommodations are overcrowded and disease runs rampant.”_ _ _ _

____“Is that so, Alec?” Patsy turned to him._ _ _ _

____“Well,” Alec hedged, editing the harsh truth of Josh's remark for her ears, “Finding lodging can be hard, sometimes. Many men are here for work and the landlord's make the most money by renting to as many as possible.”_ _ _ _

____“Thank goodness you are out of there, then. It doesn't sound pleasant at all.”_ _ _ _

____“No.” Alec sipped tea and glanced over at Josh. He found the boy studying him in open interest, eyes sharp but guarded. Alec kept his stare until Josh blinked, two spots of color high on the sharp angles of his face, and cleared his throat. Long fingers reached for his spectacles and adjusted them._ _ _ _

____The rest of the tea passed pleasantly with Patsy's cheerful talk and Josh contributing now and then._ _ _ _

____Then Josh had an appointment and Patsy said she had was organizing poetry anthologies so Alec finally gathered his valise to take upstairs to the room, his room, for now. He unpacked the belongings in his valise: a few changes of clothes, toiletries, one extra slightly better pair of shoes, a coin from his country and his most important possession, a battered postcard that showed a waterfall near his home in Bucharest. He and his siblings and cousins had swum there as children and later he'd visited with. Well. Others. It was his favorite place in all of Romania._ _ _ _

____As evening fell, Patsy came upstairs to let him know they were leaving. Josh followed close behind, Cosette draped over his shoulder like a purring stole. How Josh didn't have white cat hair all over his dark clothes remained a mystery. Josh then held something out to him._ _ _ _

____“Key for you.”_ _ _ _

____Alec accepted a small brass key on a leather braid, hiding his surprise in a day full of them. He knew he'd be staying in the store but did not expect to be trusted with his own means of coming and going. He had never heard of such a thing from any of the workers he'd spoken to. “There's a door through the back. Mind lock up if you leave and all that, of course.”_ _ _ _

____Alec nodded and Josh returned the nod before taking his leave. Patsy seemed to hang back a few seconds then placed something on the pantry table before giving him a wink and leaving, as well._ _ _ _

____Alec saw a small decorative tin on the pantry table with a note tucked underneath. It said 'Breakfast!' in looping, feminine script. Inside were three scones from their tea, earlier. The table wavered and his throat burned and he breathed in and out several times, composing himself._ _ _ _

____It had been long, very long, since he'd been shown kindness in such pure a form, with no hidden reason or expectation. He had no idea why, which normally made him suspicious, waiting for the true nature of the gesture, but this girl. This short, impossible girl, unlike anyone he had met in this country, had decided he was a a worthy person, based on nothing but a first meeting and shared conversation._ _ _ _

____He would do his best to prove her right._ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two keep surprising him, but Alec's not sure if he can trust them yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing; Josh O'Connor/Alec Secareanu  
> Fandom: God's Own Country (2017) RPF  
> Rating: Barely PG-13 for now; NC-17 eventually.  
> I have done research on Romanian and British terms and the Edwardian era, but have no beta in my little RPF fandom of one :-) Apologies for any terms or references used incorrectly  
> Yes, I am taking artistic license with timelines.  
> Disclaimer: This is completely and categorically a work of fiction.  
> Dedication: For Nico, who is still saying 'Write it! I'll read it!' after all this time, and means it. For tumlbr users addictedtogaymovies and skm-skm, who keep offering support and love these men as much as I

By the time Josh and Patsy arrived the next morning Alec had begun measuring the space for the book storage cabinet, moving everything away from the area Josh had indicated it should go. He already had a list of questions for Josh before he could begin: would the cabinet be stationary, or should it be able to be moved, if needed? Would it hold only paper documents, or other artifacts? Did he need compartments in the display that could be removed or should the drawers be confined to the interior of the cabinet below. And if he wanted it to lock, one was not provided. Neither were tools for finer woodworking and scroll work, which Alec needed for the body of he cabinet. It would be a crime not to sculpt the rich wood to it's advantage as much as possible. 

The instructions he found on the table near the tools were, in his opinion, poorly written and, in some cases, wrong. 

“Wrong? How could they be wrong? I was very specific when I had them drawn up! And there are supposed to be locks....They were to send everything except the wood and glass so work could proceed posthaste. They aren't here at all?” Josh flipped through the plans, brow knit. 

“There are not. I have searched through all the supplies.”

Cosette sat on the table watching him with silent interest. Once in a while she's scratch herself. 

“Well I'll just have to write them a very stern letter about this situation.” Josh huffed, adjusting his glasses several times, “In the meantime you'll just have to buy more locks from the locksmith.”

“It will be a while before they are needed. I have much to do before then.”

“Excellent. Perhaps by then I will have this rectified and there won't be a need to purchase more.” Alec weighed the wisdom of telling him that if the plans were of such poor skill, Alec had no confidence the locks provided would be of any better quality. Still, he was hired to work, not advise. 

“Why do you look that way?”

“I don't....” Alec protested but Josh cut him off. 

“No. You look....perturbed, “ Josh narrowed his eyes on Alec's face and Alec found the intent study disquieting. He realized eyes he thought were a simple hazel really changed between the green of moss and the blue of the deep sea. “You think me mistaken.”

Alec hesitated. 

“Oh for heaven's sake, OUT with it!,” Josh's voice rose and Cosette crouched, ears back at the sound. He gestured to the wood and the supplies. “All I care about that this work is done correctly! That it be without fault or my manuscripts...”

“It is very wrong.” Alec interrupted finally and Josh paused mid gesture, looking back at him. 

“Which part?”

“Most...of it.” Alec finished with regret.

Josh dropped both arms. “Those were very expensive.” 

“I'm....sorry,” Alec looked away with a sigh and pushed ahead, “The calculations are not correct, the angles, they do not match, by centimeters, but the construction would then be unstable and...”

“Alright!” Josh exclaimed which caused Cosette to flee, a blur of white and gray fur. Josh pinched his eyes above his nose, behind the spectacles and took a breath. 

“Josh!” Patsy's voice called from the shop before she stuck her head in the room looking agitated. “I was in the middle of adding up three books on Constantinople for the Viscount's son's tour of Greece and we could HEAR you all the way out front! What on earth? Hello Alec.” she smiled at him, “I apologize for his yelling, now and at any point in the future.” 

Josh didn't bother to claim he had not been yelling, “He's just told me all of these,” He waved the plans in his fist, “Are incorrect!” 

“Well don't you think you'd better believe him?” Patsy said logically. 

“I don't know! It could be a ruse! Or...”

Patsy tilted her head with a warning look,”Josh.” 

“it is not a ruse.” Alec made his voice calm and quiet even if he chafed at the accusation.

“Of course, I forgot,” Josh remarked cynically, sweeping his hand to indicate all of Alec's existence. “You don't lie.” 

“No, I do not.” 

“Look, isn't it fortunate you find this out now instead of after the sainted cabinet was constructed? Most people would have just built it, taken the money, and not told you. How would you know the difference? You didn't even know the plans were rubbish.” Patsy reasoned, then walked all the way in the room ignoring Josh's sound of protest. She placed her hand on her chin, face thoughtful.

“Didn't Josh say you studied? Couldn't you correct the plans? Or create new ones?”

Alec glanced between them. “Yes, I know how to do this work.” 

“Problem solved!” Patsy threw up her arms in triumph. 

“Now, hold on!”

“He's already here and he knows what to do! Are you really going to wait another month for new plans?” 

Josh sighed looking at all the tools, glass, and wood in the room. “Yes, that is true.” 

“I can adjust as I build. It is not a problem. ”It was actually how Alec preferred to work. He saw angles and joints in his head. He could predict a measurement to the millimeter by sight. He'd always been able to. 

Josh chewed at his bottom lip and Patsy raised both palm in question. 

“Fine!” He exhaled and she gave a clap with of success, elfin face beaming. 

“He'll have to do twice the work now, you understand, instead of just building.” Patsy pointed out.

“I know.” Josh tossed the incorrect plans on the table with distaste.   
“So you'll obviously need to pay him more.”

“Wait, what?”

Which was how Alec began work on a book cabinet at twice the going joiner rate, tea, lodgings, and conversation included. 

As he began to clear the table to rework the calculations Cosette re-emerged , hopped up next to him, and curled up to sleep. Alec scratched her head as he worked. 

And one friendly _pisicuţă _.__

__*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_ _

__So began a routine that continued throughout the week: he would start at dawn, lighting a lamp to see in the back room, making doubly sure before he began to cut one inch of the fine, expensive mahogany. The pieces had been cut to be manageable but not so restricting that he did not have leeway for adjustment. The wood vendor, at least, knew what his business was about._ _

__Josh had decided he wanted the cabinet movable, not stationary, drawers underneath, a least one shelf for books as well as flat display for singular documents , above. Alec pointed out it might have to be narrow to fit through the doorway should Josh need to move it but he shrugged, “Doorways can be cut.” Alec refrained from answering but planned to measure so the cabinet fit._ _

__Between two and three in the afternoon Patsy would call him for tea, and he would work the rest of the day; sometimes after they went home, simply because he could._ _

__He had not realized the toll living at the rooming house had taken until he was able to have a complete, decent night's rest without fear of his possessions being stolen, or being awakened due to a fight or imagined snub, or worse. Of the simple opulence of a warm bath; of how the ability to wash, completely and safely, every day, helped him feel human. Of the peace and tranquility the book shop had when Patsy and Josh had gone home, and he was left on his own in this vast sea of books, all at his disposal. No fighting, arguments, loud laughter, loud talking, or loud exclamations of passion, real or fabricated, one or two beds over . Sometimes sharing a room with fourteen other men made no difference to the participants. For the first week Alec only left the book shop to buy coffee and his food. It was as if his body needed to replenish the lack of privacy, quiet, and security it had done without for months._ _

__When Patsy asked one day, during tea, what he did in the evenings, he said he read._ _

__“English?” Josh asked and Patsy gave him one of her looks._ _

__“How would Alec have read the advertisement for the position otherwise? Honestly, Josh!”_ _

__“Sorry! I, “ Josh's ears had turned pink again and he did look embarrassed, “I didn't think.”_ _

__Alec felt somewhat bad for him; he looked more embarrassed than the slip called for. “It's alright. I do look mostly at the art books. Not very much reading.” he smiled and sipped his tea._ _

__However, Josh had forgotten to be self-conscious when he heard Alec, “Which art books?”_ _

__“I'm very careful,” Alec assured quickly but Patsy patted him on the arm in explanation._ _

__“He studied art at university. It's his favorite.”_ _

__“I did also, in Romania. It was required for my degree. I took classes, but I did not graduate.” Alec now wished he hadn't brought it up. It sounded like he just quit and, well, he did, but it was complicated._ _

__“Why?” Josh asked, just interest, no more._ _

__Alec tried to think of how to answer that wouldn't bring forth more questions that also wouldn't be a lie and Patsy immediately shook her head, “Oh, it's personal! No, don't worry. We didn't mean to pry.”  
Josh looked like he perhaps meant to pry, but Patsy was off on another quick change of subject. “Josh, don't forget, Mar is visiting next week.” _ _

__“What, again?” Josh slumped, displeased. He took off his spectacles and cleaned them with a cloth from his pocket. Alec hadn't seen him without them this close or for any length of time and he looked younger, more vulnerable. The silver rimmed, rectangular lenses made his eyes look small, but they were not. Josh glanced over, then back as soon as he saw Alec studying him, sliding the spectacle up his nose once more._ _

__“Yes, just like last month. You know how she is.”_ _

__“We live wit h her. I don't understand why she has to come here. She sees us every day.”_ _

__“Mar is his aunt and my great aunt.” Patsy explained. Alec, nodded, a question he'd been wondering, answered. He' d wondered if Josh had his own house or place he rented. It didn't seem like it since Patsy left with him and, even with cousins, the two living together without chaperones seemed unlikely._ _

__“Will she be alone?” Josh asked his plate more than Patsy._ _

__“I think so, but I'm not certain.” Patsy replied with regret. “Mar has been trying to get Josh married off for two seasons.” She confided to Alec with raised eyebrows._ _

__Alec frowned a scone. “You as well.”_ _

__“Oh, I think she's losing hope with me.” Patsy said cheerfully. “I only have one appointment at the modiste so far this year; that's practically a white flag.”_ _

__“You don't want to be married?” Alec asked, striving to understand. From what he had seen, London society revolved around marriage and making an advantageous match, more so than any place he had ever been._ _

__“Well,” Patsy nibbled on a sandwich in thought. “It's more like I'm just not worried about it. I don't care if people think I'll be an old maid. It's just not important. The rest of your life is a long time! I can't jump into matrimony because the person has a title and money. I think you should like who you're going to spend the rest of your life with.” She shrugged and popped the rest her sandwich in her mouth.  
“I'm not marrying anyone,” Josh muttered, using a fork to squash the scone on his plate to fine dust. “I keep telling her; she just won't believe me. I don't care if I never go to another ball again.” _ _

__Alec thought he was very young to have such convictions._ _

__“None of it will matter soon anyhow. That's what Uncle says.' Josh seemed to be talking to his place instead of either of them, “He said in ten years the working classes will get representation in parliament and no one will care about silly balls and 'the season'”_ _

__“Mar would say 'That well may be, but it matters now.”' Patsy pointed with another sandwich, then turned to Alec._ _

__“What about you?”_ _

__“Me?”_ _

__“Do you think you'll get married someday? Do you want to?” She put her chin on her hand expectantly._ _

__“That makes sense, Pats,” Josh stopped crushing his scone while Alec cast around for a suitable answer, “”Don't tell us why you quit university; it's too personal, but, say, do you want to get married?””_ _

__“He asked me first!” Alec opened his mouth to apologize and she lay her hand on his arm”Which was a fair question and he can answer now.”_ _

__Alec looked at Josh. “Might as well, you've no choice now.”_ _

__“Uhm. I have not thought of too much,” Alec said carefully. “I don't have very much to offer anyone right now. And, I have things I want to do. In the world.”_ _

__“Yes!” Patsy agreed, face alight with excitement. “Exactly! I'm not even sure what I want to do in the world! How can I belong to someone before I figure that out?”_ _

__“You're going on tour by yourself, are you?” Josh asked, but his smiled softened the words. For as much as they were sometimes cross Alec could see the depth of their attachment and friendship. It was in the fond way Josh smiled at her and how she constantly hugged him and rubbed his back. They moved in each other's space as people who had a history._ _

__“I could!” Patsy returned, “Or! You or Alec can come with me since neither of you are getting married anytime soon! We could all go on an adventure!”_ _

__“I can't bring Cosette, so that leaves me out.” Josh nuzzled Cosette napping on her velvet pillow, “Isn't that right, my beauty?”_ _

__Cosette gave a small meow and they all laughed at her answer._ _

__Alec felt something familiar then, something he had to search to place because it had been so long. Friendship? Camaraderie? His instincts tried to reject the word, and the sentiment, as false. It could be nothing but false, here in this smart room with wealthy young people of breeding and position, but it felt real. Patsy's laughing face and kind eyes, and even Josh's slowly thawing defenses were hard to reason away._ _

__He placed his apprehension aside and took another scone._ _

__He had this time, in this safe place, with these two people who treated him as if they saw him. Well. He smiled at Patsy, now actively gesturing her way through some story from when she and Josh were children that Josh kept trying to stop her from narrating._ _

__One saw him, for certain. The other was not so bad._ _

__For today, it was enough._ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work, friendship, and an awkward encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing; Josh O'Connor/Alec Secareanu  
> Fandom: God's Own Country (2017) RPF  
> Rating: Barely PG-13 for now; NC-17 eventually.  
> I have done research on Romanian and British terms and the Edwardian era, but have no beta in my little RPF fandom of one :-) Apologies for any terms or references used incorrectly  
> Yes, I am taking artistic license with timelines.  
> Disclaimer: This is completely and categorically a work of fiction.  
> Dedication: For Nico, who is still saying 'Write it! I'll read it!' after all this time, and means it. For tumblr users addictedtogaymovies and skm-skm and Twitter fan Sudipta, who keep offering support and conversation and love these men as much as I do.

As Alec began the construction of the cabinet he wondered if Josh had a distrust of things not hand made. He knew there were now machines that could construct book cases and cabinets much faster and that Josh probably had the means to hire craftsmen to do that. Alec had been trained on such a machine right before he left Bucharest, but he knew the acceptance of them was slow. As long as Josh did not mind the time it would take to create what he needed, Alec was happy for the work. He meant it when he said he could work quickly and well, but for a project of this scope, one had to choose between one or the other.

Rising from sawing an angle to precision Alec untucked his work shirt and wiped at his face. Though the weather outside was cold, the room he worked in had no windows and not much air. As he mopped the perspiration from his upper lip he caught sight of Josh peering over his glasses from behind a book. Alec looked back, aware, suddenly, of the stretch of stomach visible beneath the hem of his shirt Josh hastily pushed up his spectacles and turned away, head lowered. 

Alec smoothed his shirt back down and wondered if he should perhaps be mindful of his actions since the door of the back room stood open while he worked. He could shut it, but would rather not; the space would become stuffy quickly. Tucking his shirt back in, Alec resolved to be careful so as not to provide any customers with an improper view, but honestly, he became so involved he only remembered half the time. Usually when he caught Josh staring. 

At the end of the day Josh approached the back room and Alec stole himself for a talk about what was and was not proper behavior in the shop. Well, working with the door closed wouldn't be the worst thing. He had certainly labored under worse conditions by far. 

“Uhm,” Josh was cleaning his spectacles with intense concentration, already not good. Alec wished Patsy were here because she always had a sense of when Josh was displeased and was very good at talking until Josh forgot why. “Earlier,...”

“Yes?”

“You never said which art books you looked at,” Alec ran the words by a second time before he realized there would not be a reprimand. “During tea?” Two telltale spots had started to bloom high on Josh's face, “You said you looked at art books and then Patsy went off on the whole 'marriage' business and...”

“Different ones,” Alec interrupted before Josh worked himself up too badly, “The Flemish Masters and Renaissance artists.” 

“Do you like that art?” Josh slipped his glassed back on, voice strangely hesitant. His eyes became darker blue the more his guard eased. 

“It's very beautiful.” Alec admitted, “I was looking more for books about sculpture and bookcases , just to compare what I'm doing.” 

“I can find them for you,” Josh offered and walked with purpose down an aisle. Alec followed after moment, not realizing Josh meant to do so immediately, but Josh had pulled a large leather book from a shelf and another smaller one. Alec trailed behind as Josh pulled out two more to pile on Alec's arms and he began to worry he would collapse under the weight. 

“These are Renaissance which is mostly religious iconography because for a long time you could only create if it had to do with god, but this smaller one has sculpture from Egypt and Mesopotamia. The Pharaohs and all that, which is really brilliant because there's mummies and it talks about the pyramids...” Alec vaguely remembered some of this from his classes at the university but it sounded interesting. 

“I've got the ones about book cases behind the desk because I was looking at them before,” Josh bent to retrieve them and Alec put the pile down with some relief. “These are actually not very interesting; mostly drawings and graphs.”

“I find that interesting.” Alec shrugged, taking one from Josh and flipping through. 

“Well of course, I mean, for the work, in that respect.” Josh said with haste. Alec noted the adjustment with interest. 

“Uhm, later, we could talk about the art in the books. If you wanted.” Josh said, mostly to the desk, his fingers smoothing a detailed leather cover over and over, long and graceful. 

“Wouldn't that affect my work time?” Alec said, eyes still on the book in his hand. 

“No. It doesn't...have to...actually, it's more like research, which is very important,.” 

“Research is important.” Alec nodded, flipping pages. 

“Yes, critical, even, because it affects the quality of ... everything, which is to say, it's all relative to what's being designed and influences inform....” 

Alec let Josh fumble for a few seconds before he finally looked up . Josh saw Alec's expression. “You would never let it affect your work time.” 

Alec shook his head. 

Josh nodded, looking away but the corners of his lips kept twitching until he shook his head, ducking to hide a wide smile . It transformed his face to such a degree Alec blinked. He realized Josh had not really smiled in front of him before. Not this way. It deepened his dimples and his eyes looked very blue now. 

“Ooh, he's caught you in an art discussion!” The door had opened and Patsy walked in bundled in her coat, arms full of the post from the office a few blocks away. “You realize you'll never be rid of him now. He'll carry you around to functions in case he suddenly has an urge to discuss the Sistine Chapel.” 

“I don't go to functions.” Josh contradicted, “And Alec's interested, unlike some uncultured people I could name.” 

“He sometimes goes to functions.” Patsy whispered as she unbuttoned her coat. “Mar makes him feel guilt at least twice a season.” 

“Well I'm not happy about it and I leave a soon as I can.” 

“We sneak out and come here to have sweets and hot chocolate and talk.” 

“it's far and away more enjoyable.” Josh said. 

Of that Alec didn't doubt. 

*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*

He forgot about their Aunt's visit until it occurred. 

(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(

They had been looking in a book at pictures of some some scroll work Alec thought might be good for the framing of the glass case, he on one side of the desk and Josh on the other, both bent over the one volume Josh had unearthed that had more than graphs and measurements. Cosette had been asleep on one of her velvet cushions all morning.

“This, for the sides. The leaves would be recessed, and I was thinking of something like this for the corners. Unless you wanted a book? An open book?” Alec traced over the leaf design, stylized, with decorative berries, which would take a great deal of detail, but would break eye line. 

“For the sides, yeah. It's not too intricate? Not for your skills, I mean. For the use of it.” Josh followed where Alec traced, also outlining the leaves and their swirls with a long, pale finger, before bringing his eyes up over his spectacles. They were close enough so Alec could see motes of darkest green in the blue. Josh's stare wandered lower on Alec's face before lifting back up and _/did he look at my mouth?/ _quickly returning to the book.__

____

____

Don't be ridiculous Alexandru, he chastised himself. He'd been giving himself stern talks about this exact thing, usually at night as he lay in the dark, drowsy and warm, tired from the day's work. Tired, but not the bone deep exhaustion he'd become used to from shoveling dirt, or lifting bags of wheat, or any other labor he could find for work. It had been a long while since anyone had shown him kindness and grace like Patsy and Josh, too. To make assumptions because of this kindness was not only not appropriate, it was a child''s mistake. 

“No, it should work well.” Alec kept his eyes on the book between them. 

“Sounds good, then.” 

Any further conversation ended when he heard the door of the shop open and Patsy call out, “Hello, Mar! Good to see you again today!”

Josh straightened, face guarded as if a shade had been drawn.

Another smartly dressed woman walked slowly down the narrow aisle, the brim of her large hat with it's ribbons and flowers nearly brushing the shelves on either side. She seemed to be evaluating everything around her with sharp dark eyes, thin lips drawn down. Her dark hair grayed at the temples but she did not look old. A dusky rose colored dress draped in the latest fashion, waist tightly cinched, and a necklace sparkled in the lights of the shop, lain over intricate lace and pearl beading. He expected her eyes to slide over him, as they all did, as he was used to, but they took him in up an down and it was not a good assessment .

Nodding, he lowered his gaze and gathered the book they'd been studying, “Excuse me,” and removed himself to the back room, forcing himself to walk in a calm, deliberate fashion. He could feel the weight of her eyes on his back as he walked; her eyes and her judgment. 

“I cannot believe it's true. You've actually done it.” he heard her exclaim from the back room. She wasn't trying to be especially quiet. 

“What, exactly?” Josh began repairing a book at the desk, long, nimble fingers pressing pages with the long bone implement Josh called a folder. He worked with singular concentration and did not clean his spectacles once, which is how Alec knew, whatever he felt, it wasn't nervousness. Alec bent to sand a piece of wood while listening and watching. 

“I told myself, 'No, he would not be that careless. He would not hire a stranger, who could easily do him harm and steal from him!”' 

“Firstly,” Josh said, mostly to the book he was repairing, but his voice had no apprehension, “I don't think Alec is going to abscond with the collected works of the Italian Masters. Secondly, he's been here weeks and has proven to be trustworthy to a fault.”

“But why must he LIVE here? He is, isn't he, living here? Why is that necessary?” She didn't seem like a person used to being told 'no' very often, to Alec. 

“Because,” Josh finally gave up the show of repairing the book and closed it carefully, “I want the work done quickly and expertly, where I can supervise, and offering lodging brings forth a better quality of applicant.” 

“Well, did it work?” She demanded, very doubtful. 

“ It did!” Patsy rushed out from behind a shelf, face animated, “It absolutely did! Alec is a highly skilled craftsman! He's studied! In Romania!”

“Did he.” 

“Yes!” Patsy continue, oblivious to her aunt's tone. “He's done work for all the finest houses and businesses in Romania! For the president! And, all the politicians!” 

Alec hid a smile at her enthusiasm and caught Josh's equally amused eyes across the shop as Patsy continued, linking an arm through her aunt's. 

“And the Pope has his work in the Vatican!”

Alec looked up in alarm and Josh quickly turned to them. 

“Pats!” He said speaking over his aunt's, “The Vatican? Really?” “Why don't you get Mar the new Lady's Home Journal?” 

“Oh, is it here?” His aunt exclaimed, “How delightful!” 

“It is! You'll be the first to read it!” Patsy led her to the corner of the shop where the magazine and newspapers were kept, still chattering. 

“Does the Vatican honestly have his work?” Alec heard her ask, and Patsy's response. 

“Actually, I think he just apprenticed.” 

Alec ran a hand over his face and rubbed at his neck at her daring, equal parts exasperated and baffled and telling himself he should not find it funny because that could go badly very quickly, but it was hard. 

“The Vatican, no less.” Josh admired from the door and Alec nodded with a shrug. They shared a look then both laughed quietly. 

“I must have forgotten to mention that.” 

“Wonder if I should raise your salary. What with your highly prestigious background and all.” Josh pretended to ponder, hand on his chin. 

Alec bent to pick up a piece of wood with a shake of his head. “My salary is good.” His salary was more than good. He didn't have to talk to any other joiners to know the amount Josh left for him every week surpassed anything he'd heard quoted from other workers. He'd been able to save some and do things he'd been worrying about, like having his shoes mended and purchase more pairs of socks. Alec assumed it was because Josh thought Alec would have to buy his dinner every day and pay to have his laundry done. 

Alec chose to purchase soap and use the basin to wash his own things, hanging them on a line he fastened the length of the room. If he planned he could rotate what he wore and be clean and tidy. He bought his food for the week and warmed it over the heater, which worked fine for him. Traveling had taught him to be careful and resourceful and that one should plan for lean times because they always arrived. He told himself he would prove his skills were worth the salary, but the the reasoning remained thin. 

“Are you sure? Because I could...”

Before Alec could say, yes, he was quite sure, his aunt's voice carried across the shop, “Josh! Josh are you here?”

With a sigh, Josh turned away and back walked back in the shop, “Yes, Mar! Coming!” 

So many things were still a mystery with them. Alec got bits and pieces even if he suspected the answers were his for the asking from Patsy. After a few days of wondering how they managed to have tea without servants at the shop he realized they brought it with them every morning and Patsy had a clever kettle set up in a nook for preparation. For a while Alec thought the “Uncle” they kept referring to was some kind of mythical person but Patsy explained in passing that he was her late father's brother and had an estate in Yorkshire, Carsonwood, where he resided year round. Patsy had been sent to live with Mar last year in hopes of finding a husband but had been raised by her uncle at Carsonwood her entire childhood. 

Somehow, though, that brought forth even more puzzling questions that Alec felt were not his place to ask. Perhaps before his work was done he would find the answers to some of them. At any rate it made guessing and seeing how much he had gotten correct very interesting. 

The door opened and closed at the front of the shop and Alec listened more intently as he worked. He'd gotten into the habit when Josh or Patsy were upstairs or out, just to be safe. Josh, Patsy had told him, refused to put a bell on the door because it was loud and disturbed the peace of the space. 

“Oh, I say, aren't you a specimen.” the stranger's voice sounded too close and Alec stood from where he knelt, measuring, to see a smartly dressed young man leaning against the doorway appraising Alec with a frank stare. His look was not decent. 

“I see why Josh has been keeping away form my weekly card game. And tall, as well.” 

Alec looked at him in silence. The young man wore a pinstriped blue suit that matched the navy of his eyes and every crease seemed to be razor sharp. A stiff, high collar and double breasted gray vest of rich paisley showed beneath his jacket and the gold chain of a watch hung the length of his slim waist. He had a sulky, pretty face that continued to view Alec as if Alec were in a shop window. Alec felt exposed and self conscious under that look and it made him unable to avert his eyes as he had trained himself to do. 

“Let's a have a look at you, now. Have a turn!” the young man made a twirling gesture with his fingers. 

Alec didn't move. 

“Just a turn!” 

“JONAH.” The voice made them both jump and for a second Alec wondered who it belonged to because he had never heard Josh sound like that. The young man stepped away from the door and Alec realized he'd never seen Josh look like that, either. A stony expression marked his features, his eyes two bright, angry beams of hazel ice behind his lenses. His lips, which Alec had grown used to seeing smile more and laugh, looked bloodless. “What are you doing?” 

“Hello, Josh! There you are, old chap! Why I'm just admiring your latest acquisition. No wonder you keep turning down my dinner invitations.” 

“His name is Alec and he works here. You can't speak to him as if he's a – an- exhibit at the circus.” 

“Aw, wasn't as bad as all that, was it?” Jonah beamed at Alec who finally made himself look away and turned back to his work. 

“Not very friendly, is he?” 

“Jonah,” Josh repeated sharply, “What are you doing here? Because I'm certain you don't need any books.” 

“Why I'm taking your aunt to tea! She is here, isn't she? We have a standing date every Thursday.” “

“Are you courting?” Josh's voice sounded bored and Jonah gave a laugh that didn't seem genuine. 

“You do know who I'd like to court.” Alec risked a glance over. 

Jonah had draped himself across the desk , a sly, crooked smile on his face while Josh had gone back to mending his book, tapered fingers folding and pressing. 

“Jonah! There you are dear. I think we're ready for tea, aren't we, Josh?” Josh's aunt reappeared from the magazine section with a smile for Jonah, who kissed her gloved hand with a flourish. Patsy followed behind her aunt and gave Jonah a bright grin that didn't reach her eyes. Alec could tell the difference by now. 

“Lady Patsy! Ravishing as usual!” Jonah caught Patsy's hand and pulled it up towards his lips. 

“Oh, we both know you're just saying that!” Patsy gave him a playful shove that left him kissing the air near her head instead of her hand and Alec turned away to hid his face, the laughter bubbling up at the vexed expression on Jonah's face. 

“Patsy, my goodness, you can be so silly!” Her aunt seemed exasperated and a little embarrassed by Patsy but Patsy didn't seem to realize or worry over it. “Josh, where is your coat, love.” 

“I have work to do.” Josh didn't look up from the table and the task in front of him. 

“Oh, Josh, we always have tea when I visit, don't we? You can't deny me this one joy!” His aunt said, her face a mask of unhappiness. 

Josh peered over his spectacles, unimpressed. “I think you have a lot of joy. Actually.” 

“Come on, now. It won't be a big to-do. Lady Patsy will join us as well. We'll all go!” Jonah proposed grandly. 

A verbal parry followed that made Alec dizzy and continued for several minutes where Patsy pointed out she should stay and watch the shop but Josh could go with his Aunt and Jonah, their aunt acted shocked that Patsy would stay with a 'stranger', something her and Josh defended so strongly Alec swiftly walked over and shut the door to the workroom rather than see what their aunt thought of such reasoning. He could still, however, hear the conversation quite clearly. “But I ALWAYS stay here with Alec alone! Nothing's happened!” “ I am offended at your insinuations. Alec has been nothing but professional!” “But it's NOT DONE!” “We've already BEEN doing it!” “What on earth difference does THAT make, Patsy?” Jonah attempted once more to get everyone out the door. Everyone ignored him. Finally, Josh pointed out that Patsy had stayed with any number of their male servants alone for all her life and nothing had been said of that. “That is DIFFERENT, Joshua!” “Yes. I'd say Alec is of much higher moral caliber than any of them.” A comment that caused their aunt to became even more upset . The arguing could have gone on for a long time, Alec thought, except Jonah said, “Oh dear,” suddenly, followed by three loud sneezes and a sound Alec recognized well by now, of a stack of books falling over. 

“Josh, I've spoken to you about detaining that cat when Jonah visits!” 

“I didn't know Jonah was GOING, to visit, and besides,” Josh spoke over Jonah's sneezes, “She dislikes being detained” 

The arguing then switched to how reasonable it was to corral Cosette in a room during company until Josh capitulated with a, “Fine! Let's go! I'm getting a headache.”

Patsy could be heard following him and Alec heard her croon, “Come here, my darling!” and knew she'd picked up Cosette to whisk away. 

“Honestly, I have never seen the like!” Their aunt huffed, “I will never understand his proclivities. I knew he should not have spent all those summers at Carsonwood. This is his uncle's influence.” 

“He's just a soft soul,” Jonah smoothed around his sniffling. He gave an energetic blow of his nose, “Has been since university days. Always caring about the less fortunate, our Josh.” 

“Yes, well there are LIMITS.” Alec had no idea if they were discussing him or Cosette. Possibly both. 

Sounds of Josh and Pats returning with their coats.

“ I will meet you at the coach.” Josh could be heard to say. 

“Josh, dear, we are SO late...”

“I,” Josh repeated , “Will meet you.” 

Finally Alec heard walking, the sound of the front door opening and shutting, and the ticking quiet, deafening by comparison. 

“Alec?” Alec sheepishly opened the back room door but Josh just bowed his head and removed his spectacles, cleaning them with the piece of cloth he kept in his pocket. “Don't blame you. I'd shut the door on that if I could.” 

“Your aunt was not happy.” 

“My aunt is never happy,” Josh pushed the spectacles back on his face, raising regretful eyes, “She is often joyful but never happy, if that makes any sense.” 

It didn't really. 

“I'm very sorry about Jonah. What he said,” 

Alec shook his head, lowering his gaze. He didn't want to tell Josh Jonah's words and actions were not the worst he'd experienced. That he'd been spit on, robbed, insulted to his face because people assumed he would not understand. That he'd been cheated and lied to and beaten when he'd first arrived here, before he realized he could mend his pride better than he could his body. That a lord's suggestive look and comments ranked, in fact, very low on the list of challenges Alec had dealt with. 

“If I'd seen him, I never would have let him speak to you that way. He WILL never speak to you again, if I have anything-”

“Josh.” Alec said softly. Josh's eyes looked troubled and overcast, the sky before a storm and the expressive line of his mouth scrunched. Alec didn't know how Josh could be so casual and cavalier about some things yet look as if he were the one that had insulted Alec, not Jonah. Alec realized it was also the first time he'd said Josh's name in such a familiar manner, but he wanted to ease his worry. “It's alright.” 

“It isn't, though.” Josh said, voice quiet. They looked at each other for a moment and Alec felt the air become weighted, gain density between them. He turned away and cut the connection .

“But it is the way of things.”

The sound of the door opening interrupted them, 'Josh? Mar is getting really restless!”

“I'm coming!” Josh called over his shoulder. 

He left without more conversation. 

Alec felt relieved.

(*(*(*(*(*(*(**(*(*(*(

That night, for the first time in many months, he wanted to touch himself. 

The urge didn't happen often because of privacy or fatigue. Or memories he would rather not revisit. Alec had no qualms or any repressions about the pleasure he could give himself. However, he found, sometimes, after, instead of feeling relaxed or sleepy, he would be overcome with sadness or loneliness, two emotions he rarely allowed himself to indulge in. 

In the dark, Alec rolled on his back, the slide of the sheets and warmth inviting and sensual on his skin. He hadn't worn pyjamas, already knowing what the heat in his blood had been wanting all evening. Gripping himself, he moaned at how ready he already was, how it would take no time at all. Panting, setting a steady, light rhythm, he felt himself trip along fast, faster. This always happened when he denied himself for a long time, it felt desperate and severe. Licking his lips, he thought, unbidden _/ a soft, pink moth, scrunched in concern, laughing, smiling as dimples flashed. The way he bit at his lip when working, so it looked red and lush after, wet, ah / _Alec gasped, every nerve alight, reaching as the pulsing in his hand spilled over.__

__He lay trembling and gasping in the silence, unable to reach for the flannel to clean up for several minutes._ _

__After, pyjamas on, curled up and lax, he felt neither sad or lonely, but resolved to never think of that again. He should be not have to worry. The need would leave him in peace for awhile._ _

__He slept as soon as his lids drifted closed and he did not dream._ _


End file.
